I shouldn’t be writing this, but I am…

so please keep those positive thoughts and fervent prayers going! They truly do matter and make a difference.

Image: Gebet, Prayer, Kurt Stocker, Creative Commons License

My liver has been quite uncooperative of late. Actually, my oncologist now thinks the liver has been involved all along since my initial diagnosis included a large pleural effusion and ascites. The taxol and abraxane and Ibrance have just kept things in pretty good check. Fortunately, the ascites has not returned (knocking furiously on my noggin), but the pleural effusion has been a periodic and unwelcome visitor.

If you saw my last post, you will note that we’ve taken more aggressive action with a PleurX catheter and a change in chemo cocktails. The Abraxane was working beautifully until one day it just took a nasty turn in the wrong direction. It happened fast, too! I remember telling Dr. Mehta when we started Abraxane that it would either work well or it would annoy the cancer. The latter is the path the cancer took, so we started last month on Gemzar (gembicitine). This is a rather old chemo drug as such things go, and it has the potential for some nasty side effects, but it also has the potential to reverse this trend. So bring it on, Gemzar. Let’s sparkle and glitter like a pink unicorn and send these micro liver lesions and the accompanying inflammation into apoptosis!

It is a scary time for Rob and me because last Tuesday, based on my labs, Dr. Mehta was ready to have a very different conversation with us. Yet he admitted that my clinical presentation did not match my labs. My bilirubin is climbing–this week 16.5, but my alk phos levels are falling some. I don’t look as jaundiced as I should be, and I have enough energy to walk a mile or two (albeit slowly) and climb three flights of stairs. I’m not confused, and my appetite is improving. My symptoms of being a lovely shade of yellow and itching like a dog with fleas are manageable. It doesn’t make medical sense, but Dr. Mehta says he has seen this happen a couple of times before. So here’s to medical anomalies and miracles.

Image: A Bouquet of Prayers, Ajay Goel, Creative Commons License

Friends, the only thing to which I can attribute all this is my faith in the cosmic Christ, the one who holds every atom and molecule of the universe together, and who hears our fervent prayers. Sure medical science helps, and these tools have been given to us by God and healing hands raised up in divine power. Whether one identifies as Christian, a practitioner of any of the world’s religions, or someone who simply believes in the connectedness and sacredness of all creation, we are all on the same page when it comes to desiring wellness and wholeness for ourselves, for one another, and for creation.

So thank you! Thank you for your ongoing prayers, good intentions, and many kindnesses. They keep me going. They lift me up. The allow the glory of God to be shown through this process. Thank you.

I do have some specific prayer requests if you are able: 1) please add me to any and all prayers lists at your houses of worship; 2) I would seek specific prayers for the cancer to cooperate and exit my body; 3) that the divine will for my life will be realized; and 4) that although I am not afraid to die to this life, that I will be given more time to live, laugh, and love. Above all, I pray that Christ will be glorified in, by, and through whatever wholeness, healing, and life there is to come. Thank you! To God be all the glory. Amen.

Image: Prayers at Western Wall Temple Mount in Jerusalem, Asim Bharwani, Creative Commons License

Finally, friends, treasure each precious day of life you have. The present is all any of us is truly guaranteed. So live boldly, love lavishly, and make this world a better place for all people with all that you can.